Earth hour

I'm sorry for my silence right now. Have had allot to do, trying to meet friends and family, and get organized working no a new homepage for my self and a forum project with a friend. So has been a bit much now.

But soon I'm going to have one hour break, no computer, no tv, and no electric light. One hour silence and breathing for my self and for the earth.

I hope you join in too :)
And I hope I soon gone be back here, writing more about my thoughts and about what's happening.

More footprints in heart and mind

And then it was the second day in row I have seen a movie that leaves a footprint. Has seen the Swedish movie “Män som hatar kvinnor” (= Men that hates women or as the international title is “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”). I got totally stuck in it when I read the books for some time ago now. Amazingly good written story, if I may say. And as usual when seeing a movie where I first read the book, I can just hope that it stand up to my own pictures and shows that has been playing in my mind simultaneous with reading the story. And of course everything wasn’t the same, but I was not at all disappointed.

Yesterday evening I also had read the blog from SolSkugga that she wrote after she had seen it. And she writes about how the movie hits her heart, and how she wonder if others see the real pain in the girls that meet the wrong men out there in the reality too.

And I kept it in mind, took it with me to the cinema. And then it wasn’t only a good thriller I saw. It was also a reminder about that it is a lot of things happening behind the doors out there. And that all people we meet have their story to carry, even if they show it or not. It is a part of what has made us to who we are as persons even if we want it or not.

But how much can we do for it. We can try to be there for people we know, if a disaster hits them. We can try to not turn our blind eyes for what happening around us. But can we handle to bear the burden of the sick society we live in?

I don’t mean that it happening terrible things behind every door. I don’t mean that all men treat women (or other men for that matter either) badly, definitely not. But it happens. And I just can’t understand how a person with own will can hurt another human, neither physically, mentally or emotionally, and then be able to meet the other person’s eyes and still go on with their lives.

What can we do? Were can we start? Who can we help?
I don’t know, but I do try to care.

A part of history, still a pressing issue

I have just seen the movie Milk. For every minute that passed of the movie, it just gave me a greater impression. It’s one of these movies that leave me with a hole inside, a mix of disappointment over humans, a hope about the future, and a believe that it should be possible to change things if you are many enough.

It’s a movie about the gay movement in the USA at the 70s. About the people officially standing in the front, but also about the “regular” queer people and the big crowd that just dared to stand up for their own life’s and/or believes. And it shows one of all occasions when the power of people together with use of the means that are available can manage to change history from the direction it first looks like it is going.

The gay movement still needs to fight in all countries in different levels and matters, but they are exactly that - on the move. It is getting better even if it still far to go. The same is for equality on all fronts, human rights, democracy and so on.

It is many fights to stand. Don’t for get the one that gives their lives in their honest fight for good. And dare to stand up for your own believes.

Back in the free

I’m sorry for my long silence. I have once again been working onboard for a month now, and it is usually difficult to keep up everything from the world outside those weeks even if I’m trying in the degree that is possible when I’m working so much and above all don’t have full access to the net.

But now I’m free again. And I have one more month to spend time with family and friends, and to work on my own things, think through what I want and what I should prioritize.

Right now I’m sitting in an apartment in Torshavn, Faeroe Islands. With a glass of relaxing Dooley/milk by my side, with one eye and ear on the live streaming show of the Swedish final in Eurovision song contest there at home, one ear on the guys playing PEZ in the other room, and the other eye and my brain directed at the laptop in my knee. I’m just feeling good and enjoy life.

But it’s only for some days. I know I today don’t have the life I wish I can get. And I am more and more realising that no one else are going to thank me for doing what they think I should do, for my sake or for their. They don’t know or care about my heart, my dreams or what makes me feeling great. In the long run it’s me that has to take the decisions, find the ways and dare to take the first rambling steps, if I want to get something more. And the more the time goes, I want. I know I want.

The frustrations have started to show up in the corners of my heart and body. And I start to serious see where I can put down the next foot. In what direction, and what dimension. I have taken a couple of extremely small steps in mind and in action to explore the possibilities. And when I told about it for a loved one I go the reaction that many are talking about it but few actually doing something. I know that, and I have probably been one of them that have had a big risk to be one more in that statistics. But I have also had a quite long time to get where I am today in my mind and my heart. But now I can’t let it go.

I can just hope that you gone see where I gone lead my self in the future =)