Is it possible to be physicaly sick of yearning and anxiety?
I often try to get my self to belive that I'm not getting too attach to people I start to like, or that I'm not depending on anyone, in "wrong way".
I do have friends I realy care about. But it's extramly few I let in to my most holy. And when I have got that far, it's with people I never want to lose, never want disappearing from my life. If it's as partners, lovers, friends or what ever, that the future has to show. But my fear is to need to loose them totaly.
Last night I wrote a message to someone that means alot for me, some one I have let in further then I earlyer thought. I don't regret it, but I'm afraid for the painfull process I now maybe have to go through.
Today I woke up to a nervous and painfull waiting. I have been feeling almost feverish all day, as long as no one else distract my thoughts. And the burning pain in the chest, that has been moving around remind me about the black hole in there.
I still haven't got any answer, and I can't do anything else then wait.
I need to find my trust in the future, and believe that the right things happends in the end. What ever they may be.
Have trust...
I often try to get my self to belive that I'm not getting too attach to people I start to like, or that I'm not depending on anyone, in "wrong way".
I do have friends I realy care about. But it's extramly few I let in to my most holy. And when I have got that far, it's with people I never want to lose, never want disappearing from my life. If it's as partners, lovers, friends or what ever, that the future has to show. But my fear is to need to loose them totaly.
Last night I wrote a message to someone that means alot for me, some one I have let in further then I earlyer thought. I don't regret it, but I'm afraid for the painfull process I now maybe have to go through.
Today I woke up to a nervous and painfull waiting. I have been feeling almost feverish all day, as long as no one else distract my thoughts. And the burning pain in the chest, that has been moving around remind me about the black hole in there.
I still haven't got any answer, and I can't do anything else then wait.
I need to find my trust in the future, and believe that the right things happends in the end. What ever they may be.
Have trust...
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