Today I'm back to one of this days where I'm thinking alot. Mostly about the blessings and the curses with living in a desire for a free life. The dream about a mind of freedom, geographical freedom, financial freedom and so on.
But some times I think the price to pay can be to much. But it's difficoult to cut down your dreams and back off. Maybe it's possible for a wail. But in the long run, it can't be good to give up to much of your self.
In some ways I have a very free life. I'm working at sea about every second month. And even if I'm stuck at place out there for the moment then, I have the other six month of the year to do what ever I like. I have just start to get used to it, and I try to figure out the best way to use the time for me as person.
But the price is some times high. The feer of getting to close, to get stuck, and to loose my dreams. But that makes it a bit of a lonely life. I can run but I can't hide.
I have for a wail been very close to a person I love. But because of my feeling of not being able to fit in to the expected structur of the relationship. And you take the "easy way out" to run. But it's not so easy as you may think from the begining. It's tough, hard and sad. Full of longing, thoughts and confusion. And I just trying to find out were all this are going to lead. Is it possible to find this two lifes to melt together? Haven't found the solution yet.
In the meantime I try to figure out that part of life, I'm going on with my mini projects, start of small personal business, and the longing of learning new things.
The only thing I have to keep on beliving is that the future has alot of good things to give, and hopefully many answers (even if probably also many new issues).
But some times I think the price to pay can be to much. But it's difficoult to cut down your dreams and back off. Maybe it's possible for a wail. But in the long run, it can't be good to give up to much of your self.
In some ways I have a very free life. I'm working at sea about every second month. And even if I'm stuck at place out there for the moment then, I have the other six month of the year to do what ever I like. I have just start to get used to it, and I try to figure out the best way to use the time for me as person.
But the price is some times high. The feer of getting to close, to get stuck, and to loose my dreams. But that makes it a bit of a lonely life. I can run but I can't hide.
I have for a wail been very close to a person I love. But because of my feeling of not being able to fit in to the expected structur of the relationship. And you take the "easy way out" to run. But it's not so easy as you may think from the begining. It's tough, hard and sad. Full of longing, thoughts and confusion. And I just trying to find out were all this are going to lead. Is it possible to find this two lifes to melt together? Haven't found the solution yet.
In the meantime I try to figure out that part of life, I'm going on with my mini projects, start of small personal business, and the longing of learning new things.
The only thing I have to keep on beliving is that the future has alot of good things to give, and hopefully many answers (even if probably also many new issues).
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