I’m sorry for my long silence. I have once again been working onboard for a month now, and it is usually difficult to keep up everything from the world outside those weeks even if I’m trying in the degree that is possible when I’m working so much and above all don’t have full access to the net.
But now I’m free again. And I have one more month to spend time with family and friends, and to work on my own things, think through what I want and what I should prioritize.
Right now I’m sitting in an apartment in Torshavn, Faeroe Islands. With a glass of relaxing Dooley/milk by my side, with one eye and ear on the live streaming show of the Swedish final in Eurovision song contest there at home, one ear on the guys playing PEZ in the other room, and the other eye and my brain directed at the laptop in my knee. I’m just feeling good and enjoy life.
But it’s only for some days. I know I today don’t have the life I wish I can get. And I am more and more realising that no one else are going to thank me for doing what they think I should do, for my sake or for their. They don’t know or care about my heart, my dreams or what makes me feeling great. In the long run it’s me that has to take the decisions, find the ways and dare to take the first rambling steps, if I want to get something more. And the more the time goes, I want. I know I want.
The frustrations have started to show up in the corners of my heart and body. And I start to serious see where I can put down the next foot. In what direction, and what dimension. I have taken a couple of extremely small steps in mind and in action to explore the possibilities. And when I told about it for a loved one I go the reaction that many are talking about it but few actually doing something. I know that, and I have probably been one of them that have had a big risk to be one more in that statistics. But I have also had a quite long time to get where I am today in my mind and my heart. But now I can’t let it go.
I can just hope that you gone see where I gone lead my self in the future =)
But now I’m free again. And I have one more month to spend time with family and friends, and to work on my own things, think through what I want and what I should prioritize.
Right now I’m sitting in an apartment in Torshavn, Faeroe Islands. With a glass of relaxing Dooley/milk by my side, with one eye and ear on the live streaming show of the Swedish final in Eurovision song contest there at home, one ear on the guys playing PEZ in the other room, and the other eye and my brain directed at the laptop in my knee. I’m just feeling good and enjoy life.
But it’s only for some days. I know I today don’t have the life I wish I can get. And I am more and more realising that no one else are going to thank me for doing what they think I should do, for my sake or for their. They don’t know or care about my heart, my dreams or what makes me feeling great. In the long run it’s me that has to take the decisions, find the ways and dare to take the first rambling steps, if I want to get something more. And the more the time goes, I want. I know I want.
The frustrations have started to show up in the corners of my heart and body. And I start to serious see where I can put down the next foot. In what direction, and what dimension. I have taken a couple of extremely small steps in mind and in action to explore the possibilities. And when I told about it for a loved one I go the reaction that many are talking about it but few actually doing something. I know that, and I have probably been one of them that have had a big risk to be one more in that statistics. But I have also had a quite long time to get where I am today in my mind and my heart. But now I can’t let it go.
I can just hope that you gone see where I gone lead my self in the future =)
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