The vulnerable society

It’s cold outside, freezing cold. And in the middle of work in the studio all electricity died around us. The lights went out, the internet got down, and we got standing as question mark. We all four went out from the rooms we were working in and looked at each other. What now? And then we sat down and just chatted, relaxed and took a cup of tea/coffie. We got more social instead =)

But once again I god a reminder about how vulnerable we humans have made our self. The most of us in this country totally hand over the responsibility to someone else to deliver warmth and light to us. And we count on that they can handle it to 100%. We get surprised when they can’t handle this responsibility, and quite fast we feel naked and vulnerable.

Could we make it if we need to live life without electricity? We should need to learn a totally different life. We should probably need to listen even more to the older people with more and longer experience in life, that knows more about the old days and the “harder life”. Then the rules should change around a bit in the whole society.

Some times I believe we have spoilt our self a bit too much. I do like new stuff, technique, computers definitely, and interesting things happening around us. But are we making our self to depending on other?

Feeling of Hope

The warming sun shins down from a clear and blue sky. I feel a calm and happiness in my body when I’m sitting and watching out over the Swedish countryside and landscape passing bye, and letting Teiturs Faeroes tones reach my ears and make the feelings even stronger.

I can see all the trees swishing by, together with small villages, a bit of water now and then, and everything swimming around in the sunshine. After a wail it’s almost like I can see the snow growing up from the ground. It not much yet, but it’s a bit white lightening up a bit of the dark green and grey the nature show up this time a year. I am sitting on a train on the way a bit north, to Östersund where one of my loved friends has moved to. I am going to spend a week there, full of projects and fun. I feel the inspiration in both my body and mind.

And the already good feelings I had when I started this day got even more energy on the way. When I started the trip I picket up a Metro paper on the run. Even if I know it’s kind of important to be following a bit of what happening in the world. I usually have difficulties to stay reading newspapers and see news on the tv. It’s to much negative influences. They always shows all problems and all depressing things with the world. If I’m supposed to be staying here on this earth, hopefully for many years to come, I need to see the hope. And I’m not the only one.

I have for a long time been thinking of if it was possible to create a place for happy and positive news to be seen, where hope can be given. And in the Metro Newspaper it was a article where they had been talking with Bosse Angelöw about this. That we need to see hope, and get a balance in the information. And Bosse has been writing a book about good things that happens in the world, “Glädjerapporten” (≈ Report of happiness). I haven’t seen the book yet, so don’t know much more about it. But everything don’t need to be so dark.

I’m a girl that put the problems in the world, and the problems in my own life aside for a moment, to just enjoy the beauty in life, in the nature passing by, and in people I meet.

To fight against made up laws

For a wail now I have start to feel pugnacious agains the thought that I'm not allowed to feel that I am good enough on anything. That I can something about alot of things, but not enough to stand up for what I'm doing and that I do a really good work.

For me it is a matter of course that I don't know "enough". Because enough mean that you don't need to learn more. And I can probably never agree with that. It's always alot more to learn about everything. But on the way I need to get to points for different things where I feel that I'm good enough to stand for what I'm doing. I'm not the best and I'm not the worst but I am me.

In sweden we still have some problems with what we call "jantelagen", or what they in austalia call the "tall poppies syndrome". An unwritten law we grow up with. It's about that you not supposed to belive that you are something special.

I have nice and decent followed the line. Working hard in the dark corners and not made much of a sound anywhere. That has probably slowed me down quiet much.
But simultaneously with that my dreams has been growing through the years, I have start to make fissures in the solid shell of "nobody-ness". And lately I feel like I have started to bend this fissures apart with my bare hands.

I starting to take steps out in the world. In work, with friends, in the cyber, in projects. I dear to show a bit more of my self, my mind and my life. What I'm doing and what I wish to do. Reflekting my dreams and at the same time lighting up a bit of my path.

It's still not that I think I'm better then every one else. But I think I can manage things. I belive in my self in another way then before. But I still love to hear other peoples adventures, experiences and lifes etc. Every person has there own story, and every person has something you can learn from him/her.

Some times I can feel like I am a fighter in a quiet mouse body. Maybe it's time to live that mouse home alone at the cage a bit more in the future and dear to go on with challengeing my self. I'm not only the quiet girl in the corner any longer.